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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Bulbs
Christmas
Tree
Used
Orthopedics
Orthopedic
Puny

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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
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It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
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I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
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One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
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I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
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