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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
Milton Berle
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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Bulbs
Christmas
Tree
Used
Orthopedics
Orthopedic
Puny
More quotes by Milton Berle
Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
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She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
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It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
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