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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
Milton Berle
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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Tree
Used
Orthopedics
Orthopedic
Puny
Bulbs
Christmas
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
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Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
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My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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