Quote

One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?

Milton Berle

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Going
Christmas
Cry
Songs
Along
Says
Wife
Song
Pout
Better
Shout

More quotes by Milton Berle

Image
It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
Milton Berle
Image
Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
Milton Berle
Image
This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
Milton Berle
Image
My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
Milton Berle
Image
Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
Milton Berle
Image
For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
Milton Berle
Image
I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
Milton Berle
Image
I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
Milton Berle
Image
Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
Milton Berle
Image
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
Milton Berle
Image
Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
Milton Berle
Image
I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
Milton Berle
Image
Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
Milton Berle
Image
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle
Image
I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
Milton Berle
Image
Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
Milton Berle
Image
My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
Milton Berle
Image
At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
Milton Berle
Image
A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
Milton Berle
Image
I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
Milton Berle