Quote

One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Better
Shout
Going
Christmas
Cry
Songs
Along
Says
Wife
Song
Pout

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You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
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