Quote

One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Going
Christmas
Cry
Songs
Along
Says
Wife
Song
Pout
Better
Shout

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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
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It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
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My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
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There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.
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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
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