Quote

My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?

Milton Berle

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Figures
Wife
Give
Everything
Giving
Men
Christmas
Figure

More quotes by Milton Berle

Image
I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
Milton Berle
Image
Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
Milton Berle
Image
Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
Milton Berle
Image
Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
Milton Berle
Image
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
Milton Berle
Image
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle
Image
My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
Milton Berle
Image
A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
Milton Berle
Image
I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
Milton Berle
Image
Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
Milton Berle
Image
At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
Milton Berle
Image
I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
Milton Berle
Image
I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
Milton Berle
Image
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Milton Berle
Image
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
Image
Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
Milton Berle
Image
My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
Milton Berle
Image
I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
Milton Berle
Image
For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
Milton Berle
Image
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
Milton Berle