Quote

My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?

Milton Berle

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Wife
Give
Everything
Giving
Men
Christmas
Figure
Figures

More quotes by Milton Berle

Image
For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
Milton Berle
Image
It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
Milton Berle
Image
They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
Milton Berle
Image
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
Image
My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
Milton Berle
Image
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle
Image
Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
Milton Berle
Image
I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
Milton Berle
Image
Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
Milton Berle
Image
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
Milton Berle
Image
In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
Milton Berle
Image
I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
Milton Berle
Image
Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
Milton Berle
Image
I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
Milton Berle
Image
The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
Milton Berle
Image
She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
Milton Berle
Image
My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
Milton Berle
Image
The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
Milton Berle
Image
A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
Milton Berle
Image
Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
Milton Berle