Quote

My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?

Milton Berle

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Giving
Men
Christmas
Figure
Figures
Wife
Give
Everything

More quotes by Milton Berle

Image
My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
Milton Berle
Image
It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
Milton Berle
Image
It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
Milton Berle
Image
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
Milton Berle
Image
I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
Milton Berle
Image
I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
Milton Berle
Image
I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
Milton Berle
Image
I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
Milton Berle
Image
She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
Milton Berle
Image
I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
Milton Berle
Image
Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
Milton Berle
Image
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
Image
I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
Milton Berle
Image
In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
Milton Berle
Image
You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
Milton Berle
Image
All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
Milton Berle
Image
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle
Image
Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
Milton Berle
Image
Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
Milton Berle
Image
I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
Milton Berle