Quote

My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Lasts
Nephew
Last
Drums
Family
Shopping
Music
Department
Whole
Christmas
Years
Brother
Wife
Year

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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
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I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
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My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
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I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
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