Quote

My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Family
Shopping
Music
Department
Whole
Christmas
Years
Brother
Wife
Year
Lasts
Nephew
Last
Drums

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My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
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I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
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