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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
Milton Berle
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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Motorcycle
Attached
Christmas
Son
Asked
Littles
Little
More quotes by Milton Berle
I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
Milton Berle
Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
Milton Berle
It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
Milton Berle
For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
Milton Berle
Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
Milton Berle
The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
Milton Berle
This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
Milton Berle
I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
Milton Berle
I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
Milton Berle
I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
Milton Berle
It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
Milton Berle
They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
Milton Berle
My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
Milton Berle
It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
Milton Berle
Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
Milton Berle
Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
Milton Berle
