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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Little
Motorcycle
Attached
Christmas
Son
Asked
Littles

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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
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For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
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It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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