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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Motorcycle
Attached
Christmas
Son
Asked
Littles
Little

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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
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This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
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I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
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They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
Milton Berle