Quote

I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Doesn
Department
Young
Stores
Anything
Christmas
Weird
Gift
Gadget
Saws
Gadgets
Asked
Answered
Looking
Store

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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
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There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
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