Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
Milton Berle
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Christmas
Size
Gift
Bigger
Gave
Certificate
Wife
Certificates
Exchange
Ran
More quotes by Milton Berle
Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
Milton Berle
It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
Milton Berle
You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
Milton Berle
Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
Milton Berle
Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
Milton Berle
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
Milton Berle
I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
Milton Berle
It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
Milton Berle
All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
Milton Berle
My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
Milton Berle
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
Milton Berle
Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
Milton Berle
In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
Milton Berle
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle
Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
Milton Berle
Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
Milton Berle
A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
Milton Berle
For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
Milton Berle
A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
Milton Berle