Quote

I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Bought
Christmas
Broke
Yesterday
Son
Car
Driveway
Left
Indestructible
Toys

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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
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This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
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I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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