Quote

I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Left
Indestructible
Toys
Bought
Christmas
Broke
Yesterday
Son
Car
Driveway

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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
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A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
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