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I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Bats
Flew
Bought
Christmas
Son
Year
Away
Years

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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
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Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
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