Quote

I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.

Milton Berle

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Year
Away
Years
Bats
Flew
Bought
Christmas
Son

More quotes by Milton Berle

Image
My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
Milton Berle
Image
I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
Milton Berle
Image
My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
Milton Berle
Image
Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
Milton Berle
Image
Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
Milton Berle
Image
Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
Milton Berle
Image
You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
Milton Berle
Image
I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
Milton Berle
Image
On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
Milton Berle
Image
Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
Milton Berle
Image
They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
Milton Berle
Image
I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
Milton Berle
Image
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
Milton Berle
Image
I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
Milton Berle
Image
Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
Milton Berle
Image
I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
Milton Berle
Image
A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
Milton Berle
Image
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle
Image
Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
Milton Berle
Image
It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
Milton Berle