Quote

For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Came
Battery
Operated
Batteries
Included
Christmas
Aren

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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
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I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
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Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
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Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
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