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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
Milton Berle
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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Giving
Gave
Suggested
Every
Drink
Bottle
Years
Told
Bottles
Name
Boss
Names
Doctor
Year
Expensive
Used
Christmas
Give
Doctors
Brandy
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You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
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Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
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My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
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You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
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I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
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