Quote

Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.

Milton Berle

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Numbers
Feel
Insecure
Feels
Received
Sent
Count
Cards
Christmas
Number

More quotes by Milton Berle

Image
It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
Milton Berle
Image
Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
Milton Berle
Image
For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
Milton Berle
Image
It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
Milton Berle
Image
A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
Milton Berle
Image
My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
Milton Berle
Image
Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
Milton Berle
Image
Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
Milton Berle
Image
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
Image
I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
Milton Berle
Image
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
Milton Berle
Image
At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
Milton Berle
Image
On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
Milton Berle
Image
Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
Milton Berle
Image
War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
Milton Berle
Image
I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
Milton Berle
Image
Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
Milton Berle
Image
I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
Milton Berle
Image
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle
Image
I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
Milton Berle