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She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Heart
Rash
Valentine
Shaped
Gave
Nice

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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
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This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
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