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She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
Milton Berle
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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Rash
Valentine
Shaped
Gave
Nice
Heart
More quotes by Milton Berle
My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
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For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
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Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
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