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She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
Milton Berle
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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Rash
Valentine
Shaped
Gave
Nice
Heart
More quotes by Milton Berle
My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
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You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
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You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
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My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
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It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
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It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
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I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
Milton Berle
