Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
Milton Berle
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Wife
Laundry
Open
Washing
Things
Valentine
Like
Puts
Machine
Machines
Door
Doors
More quotes by Milton Berle
It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
Milton Berle
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle
Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
Milton Berle
I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
Milton Berle
Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
Milton Berle
My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
Milton Berle
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Milton Berle
Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
Milton Berle
For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
Milton Berle
Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
Milton Berle
War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
Milton Berle
I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
Milton Berle
I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
Milton Berle
One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
Milton Berle
All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
Milton Berle
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
Milton Berle
Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
Milton Berle
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
Milton Berle
The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
Milton Berle