Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
Milton Berle
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Open
Washing
Things
Valentine
Like
Puts
Machine
Machines
Door
Doors
Wife
Laundry
More quotes by Milton Berle
Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
Milton Berle
My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
Milton Berle
I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
Milton Berle
Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
Milton Berle
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
Milton Berle
Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
Milton Berle
There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.
Milton Berle
My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
Milton Berle
Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
Milton Berle
I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
Milton Berle
For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
Milton Berle
Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
Milton Berle
Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
Milton Berle
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle
It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
Milton Berle
It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
Milton Berle
I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
Milton Berle
They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
Milton Berle
It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
Milton Berle
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Milton Berle
