Quote

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.

Milton Berle

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Machines
Door
Doors
Wife
Laundry
Open
Washing
Things
Valentine
Like
Puts
Machine

More quotes by Milton Berle

Image
Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
Milton Berle
Image
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle
Image
Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
Milton Berle
Image
Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
Milton Berle
Image
It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
Milton Berle
Image
It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
Milton Berle
Image
On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
Milton Berle
Image
You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
Milton Berle
Image
I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
Milton Berle
Image
Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
Milton Berle
Image
In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
Milton Berle
Image
I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
Milton Berle
Image
A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
Milton Berle
Image
I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
Milton Berle
Image
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
Milton Berle
Image
I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
Milton Berle
Image
My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
Milton Berle
Image
I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
Milton Berle
Image
Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
Milton Berle
Image
One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
Milton Berle