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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Grades
Lower
Test
Tests
Deserve
Gave
Didn
Assessment
Grade

More quotes by Milton Berle

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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
Milton Berle
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I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
Milton Berle
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
Milton Berle
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
Milton Berle
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This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
Milton Berle
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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
Milton Berle
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
Milton Berle
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You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
Milton Berle
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
Milton Berle
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
Milton Berle
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
Milton Berle
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
Milton Berle
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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
Milton Berle
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
Milton Berle
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
Milton Berle