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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Test
Tests
Deserve
Gave
Didn
Assessment
Grade
Grades
Lower

More quotes by Milton Berle

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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
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I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
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My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
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My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
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A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
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Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
Milton Berle