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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Lower
Test
Tests
Deserve
Gave
Didn
Assessment
Grade
Grades

More quotes by Milton Berle

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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
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Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
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They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
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This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
Milton Berle
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
Milton Berle
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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
Milton Berle
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
Milton Berle