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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Deserve
Gave
Didn
Assessment
Grade
Grades
Lower
Test
Tests

More quotes by Milton Berle

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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
Milton Berle