Quote

At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.

Milton Berle

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Never
Twenties
Like
Year
Two
Around
Women
Feel
Eighty
Feels
Unfortunately
Years
Twenty

More quotes by Milton Berle

Image
I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
Milton Berle
Image
On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
Milton Berle
Image
Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
Milton Berle
Image
You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
Milton Berle
Image
It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
Milton Berle
Image
Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
Milton Berle
Image
I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
Milton Berle
Image
I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
Milton Berle
Image
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Milton Berle
Image
For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
Milton Berle
Image
A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
Milton Berle
Image
Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
Milton Berle
Image
It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
Milton Berle
Image
The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
Milton Berle
Image
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
Milton Berle
Image
A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
Milton Berle
Image
Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
Milton Berle
Image
Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
Milton Berle
Image
She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
Milton Berle
Image
My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
Milton Berle