Quote

At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.

Milton Berle

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Feels
Unfortunately
Years
Twenty
Never
Twenties
Like
Year
Two
Around
Women
Feel
Eighty

More quotes by Milton Berle

Image
One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
Milton Berle
Image
Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
Milton Berle
Image
I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
Milton Berle
Image
I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
Milton Berle
Image
I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
Milton Berle
Image
My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
Milton Berle
Image
Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
Milton Berle
Image
Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
Milton Berle
Image
I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
Milton Berle
Image
I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
Milton Berle
Image
Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
Milton Berle
Image
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
Image
I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
Milton Berle
Image
She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
Milton Berle
Image
It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
Milton Berle
Image
My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
Milton Berle
Image
Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
Milton Berle
Image
In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
Milton Berle
Image
Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
Milton Berle
Image
I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
Milton Berle