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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Superman
Left
Place
Earth
Krypton

More quotes by Milton Berle

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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
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Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
Milton Berle