Quote

I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Krypton
Superman
Left
Place
Earth

More quotes by Milton Berle

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This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
Milton Berle
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Milton Berle
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
Milton Berle
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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
Milton Berle
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
Milton Berle
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
Milton Berle
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
Milton Berle
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
Milton Berle
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
Milton Berle
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It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
Milton Berle
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
Milton Berle
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
Milton Berle
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
Milton Berle
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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
Milton Berle
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
Milton Berle
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
Milton Berle
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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
Milton Berle
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Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
Milton Berle
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Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
Milton Berle
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle