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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Gets
Hours
Speak
Doesn
Three
Thing
Men
Disagree
Washington

More quotes by Milton Berle

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My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
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I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
Milton Berle
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
Milton Berle
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
Milton Berle
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
Milton Berle
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
Milton Berle
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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
Milton Berle
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She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
Milton Berle
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
Milton Berle
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
Milton Berle
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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
Milton Berle
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
Milton Berle