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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Teaching
Education
Speaker
Future
Speakers
Graduates
Nowadays
Tells
Threat
Promise

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She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
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You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
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Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
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