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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Every
Brilliance
Spark
Sparks
Ten
Intelligence
Teaching
Trouble
Education
Ignition

More quotes by Milton Berle

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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
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A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
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For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
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Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
Milton Berle
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You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
Milton Berle
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My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
Milton Berle