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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Intelligence
Teaching
Trouble
Education
Ignition
Every
Brilliance
Spark
Sparks
Ten

More quotes by Milton Berle

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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
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I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
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You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
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One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
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It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
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A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
Milton Berle