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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Every
Brilliance
Spark
Sparks
Ten
Intelligence
Teaching
Trouble
Education
Ignition

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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
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It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
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She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
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They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
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