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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Trouble
Education
Ignition
Every
Brilliance
Spark
Sparks
Ten
Intelligence
Teaching

More quotes by Milton Berle

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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
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I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
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I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle