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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Ten
Intelligence
Teaching
Trouble
Education
Ignition
Every
Brilliance
Spark
Sparks

More quotes by Milton Berle

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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
Milton Berle
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
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My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
Milton Berle
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
Milton Berle
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
Milton Berle
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
Milton Berle
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You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
Milton Berle
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
Milton Berle
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
Milton Berle
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
Milton Berle
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
Milton Berle
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It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
Milton Berle
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
Milton Berle
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You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
Milton Berle
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
Milton Berle
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
Milton Berle
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
Milton Berle