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It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Steroid
Tough
Took
Teaching
Team
Education
Kids
Debating
School
Steroids

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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
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My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
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