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It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
School
Steroids
Steroid
Tough
Took
Teaching
Team
Education
Kids
Debating

More quotes by Milton Berle

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She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
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I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
Milton Berle