Quote

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Remember
Thing
Life
Sex
Interested
Marriage
Says
Trouble
Wife

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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
Milton Berle