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Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Interested
Marriage
Says
Trouble
Wife
Remember
Thing
Life
Sex

More quotes by Milton Berle

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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
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I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
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It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
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For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
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My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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