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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Sarcastic
Beings
Running
Human
Humans
Men
Honoring

More quotes by Milton Berle

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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
Milton Berle
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My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
Milton Berle
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
Milton Berle
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
Milton Berle
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
Milton Berle
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
Milton Berle
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
Milton Berle
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
Milton Berle
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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
Milton Berle