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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Human
Humans
Men
Honoring
Sarcastic
Beings
Running

More quotes by Milton Berle

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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
Milton Berle
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
Milton Berle
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Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
Milton Berle
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
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She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
Milton Berle
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
Milton Berle
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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
Milton Berle
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
Milton Berle
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For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
Milton Berle
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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
Milton Berle
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
Milton Berle
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
Milton Berle
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You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
Milton Berle
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There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.
Milton Berle
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
Milton Berle
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
Milton Berle
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I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
Milton Berle
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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
Milton Berle
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
Milton Berle
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
Milton Berle