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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Men
Honoring
Sarcastic
Beings
Running
Human
Humans

More quotes by Milton Berle

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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
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For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
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My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
Milton Berle
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There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.
Milton Berle
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
Milton Berle