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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Men
Honoring
Sarcastic
Beings
Running
Human
Humans

More quotes by Milton Berle

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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
Milton Berle
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Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
Milton Berle
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
Milton Berle
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
Milton Berle
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
Milton Berle
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They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
Milton Berle
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
Milton Berle
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle
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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
Milton Berle
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My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
Milton Berle
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
Milton Berle
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
Milton Berle
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
Milton Berle
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
Milton Berle
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Milton Berle
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My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
Milton Berle
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Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
Milton Berle
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A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
Milton Berle
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
Milton Berle
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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
Milton Berle