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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
Milton Berle
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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Tough
Santa
Wants
Billion
Year
List
Lasts
Gifts
Last
Lists
Years
Billions
Time
Christmas
Eight
Irs
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
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My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
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I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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