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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Lasts
Gifts
Last
Lists
Years
Billions
Time
Christmas
Eight
Irs
Tough
Santa
Wants
Billion
Year
List

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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
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I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
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