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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
Milton Berle
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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Retiring
Quarters
Retirement
Dollars
Accountant
Million
Accountants
Teacher
Accounting
Millions
Quarter
Company
Shy
More quotes by Milton Berle
My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
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This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
Milton Berle
