Quote

The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Company
Shy
Retiring
Quarters
Retirement
Dollars
Accountant
Million
Accountants
Teacher
Accounting
Millions
Quarter

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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
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One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
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There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
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Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
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They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
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