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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
Milton Berle
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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Dollars
Accountant
Million
Accountants
Teacher
Accounting
Millions
Quarter
Company
Shy
Retiring
Quarters
Retirement
More quotes by Milton Berle
My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
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My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle
I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
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I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
Milton Berle
I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
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It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
Milton Berle
