Quote

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Taxes
Humor
Says
Funny
Blank
Money
Killed
Form
Income
Forms
Filled

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It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
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You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
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