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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Taxes
Humor
Says
Funny
Blank
Money
Killed
Form
Income
Forms
Filled

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They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
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I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
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A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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