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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
Milton Berle
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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Goes
Pastrami
Food
Anytime
Dies
Orders
White
Culinary
Order
Jew
Persons
Cooking
Person
Bread
Somewhere
Delicatessen
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You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
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I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
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I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
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