Quote

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Somewhere
Delicatessen
Goes
Pastrami
Food
Anytime
Dies
Orders
White
Culinary
Order
Jew
Persons
Cooking
Person
Bread

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One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
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Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
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I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
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