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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Witty
Humorous
Forgotten
Name
Names
Funny
Experience
Hypocrite

More quotes by Milton Berle

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You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
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It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
Milton Berle
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One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
Milton Berle