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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Hypocrite
Witty
Humorous
Forgotten
Name
Names
Funny
Experience

More quotes by Milton Berle

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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
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They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
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I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
Milton Berle
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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
Milton Berle
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Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
Milton Berle
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
Milton Berle