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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Witty
Humorous
Forgotten
Name
Names
Funny
Experience
Hypocrite

More quotes by Milton Berle

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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
Milton Berle
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
Milton Berle
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
Milton Berle
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
Milton Berle
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
Milton Berle
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
Milton Berle
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
Milton Berle
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It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
Milton Berle
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
Milton Berle
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
Milton Berle
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Milton Berle
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
Milton Berle
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For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
Milton Berle
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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
Milton Berle
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I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
Milton Berle
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
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My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
Milton Berle