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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Hypocrite
Witty
Humorous
Forgotten
Name
Names
Funny
Experience

More quotes by Milton Berle

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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
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I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
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I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
Milton Berle
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
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I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
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One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
Milton Berle
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
Milton Berle
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
Milton Berle
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
Milton Berle