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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Funny
Motherhood
Mother
Mothers
Hands
Comedian
Mothering
Two
Humorous
Parental
Come
Mom
Hilarious
Work
Evolution
Mum
Really
Works
Mama
Baby
Parenting

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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
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It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
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